I Hate Myself: Is it an Illusion or a Real Mental Problem5 min read
Life has a lot of ups and downs which sometimes make your life easy and other times make it miserable. However, unless you think positively and love yourself, you will never be happy. Imagine that you are sitting with someone you don’t like, can this make you happy? Absolutely Not. Then how would you be pleased if you don’t like the nearest one to yourself? In fact, our happiness can come from our inside if we just love ourselves and accept our little flaws which make us unique.
The major problem related to hating oneself is self-loathing which can be recently found in many people, and it is more harmful than you can imagine. It is not impossible to defeat this sickening habit, but it needs a strong will.
Why Do I Hate Myself
Let’s start with few reasons regarding why do I hate myself:
I would hate myself because:
- I am not beautiful. Actually, I think I am so ugly.
- I am not smart enough to get good marks in school, college, etc.
- My parents hate me. They love my brothers and sisters more than me.
- My friends say bad things about me.
- No one cares whether I am happy or sad.
- I am not thin enough, and my weight is making me disgusting.
- I don’t have goals in life.
- Depression is killing me, and I cannot get rid of it.
- I am addicted to drugs or alcohol, and I am not able to stop.
- I don’t have enough money to buy what I want.
- I don’t have a strong self- confidence to face problems and individuals.
- Everyone, even my parents, see me as a deception.
- My dad thinks that talking and spending time with me is just a big waste of his time.
- I don’t have a reason to wake up every morning.
- I don’t trust my boyfriend/ girlfriend, as he/ she may betray me any moment.
- My dad hits me all the time.
- My boyfriend hits me, but I can’t leave him.
- Every night, I see the same nightmares.
- People use me to get what they want; then they leave me.
- I can’t make any decision as I don’t trust myself.
- I can’t say no to people, even if they need something I don’t want to give.
- I never finish what I start; I just feel as I will not reach the goal.
- I ran away once for few days and guess what? No one noticed.
- I don’t think I can love anyone, or I deserve to be loved by anyone.
- Instead of helping me, all my friends just abandoned me when my life was going to hell.
These are just 25 reasons which make anyone hate himself/herself, but there are a lot more.
How To Stop Hating Yourself
If you are suffering from self-loathing, you need a lot of love and support from people around you to be able to develop a better frame of mind towards yourself. Here are few tips to encounter this problem:
1- Don’t try to be perfect.
Although perfectionism is everyone’s aim, no one can achieve perfection. Additionally, the more you try to be perfect, the more you would get disappointed and have a negative perspective of yourself.
We often see that someone is so lucky, and he has everything in life, but this doesn’t mean that they not true at all.
To achieve self-appreciation, avoid comparing yourself to others, especially celebrities, who seem flawless on the TV, but they are not the same in real life.
2- Talk to yourself in the mirror.
Talking with yourself in the mirror is crucial to promote your self- esteem, and here we are talking about the positive conversation. Just tell yourself good things about you like: you look good, or you have a strong personality, you are intelligent, etc.
3- Recognize the triggers and learn how to encounter them.
Self-loathing may be triggered by a variety of situations, conditions or people. As a result, you have to start learning what behaviors may cause you all this harm and how to adjust better to them, so you keep yourself from wandering deeply about your flaws.
4- Have positive coping mechanism.
Whenever you are depressed, try doing something productive and beneficial instead of drinking alcohol or using drugs. It won’t be easy at first, but it would be worth the effort.
In such cases, if you like to stay alone all the time, you can go outside, interact with other people and make new friendships.
5-Follow a healthy lifestyle.
You may not have any physical or health problem like diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. but you can try a healthy lifestyle by walking 30 minutes a day, exercising and eating vegetables, fruits, and healthy food.
If you begin to take a good care of your health and body, you will boost your self-esteem.
6. Take good care of your mental health.
Your mental health is so important as your physical one and even more, so you should take initiatives to take care of it.
Try some meditation, yoga, and go for a run daily as this will certainly rejuvenate you.
Many studies showed that enjoying your life has a significant effect on creating a healthy body image.
7. Wear whatever you want.
Whether you have a good day or a bad day, wear the clothes which you feel confident in. Always avoid dressing dark colors sharply and wear bright clothes to cheer you up.
8. Stay around positive people.
People who live around us can make a big difference to our thoughts, so if they are happy, optimistic and supportive people, they will help you, intentionally or not, to encounter your problem. On the other hand, if they are critical about you or keep cracking jokes on you, they will make your situation worse so try to avoid them.